Haven't seen YOU in a while

"Haven't seen YOU in awhile."

Here's the truth: Our family doesn't make it to church every Sunday. Sometimes, we're lucky if we make it once a month. When we finally do go, some well-intentioned person who knows absolutely nothing about our lives inevitably feels the need to say, "Haven't seen YOU in a while."

At our old church, we called this person "Peter Sellers." He wore black-framed glasses and possessed a verbal tic that made him snicker at the end of every sentence.

Haven't seen YOU in a while. Hehehe.

In fact, there has been a Peter Sellers at every church I've ever attended in my life. And you know what? Those admonishments (always delivered with a smile) fail to make me want to attend church more. They've always made me want to go less.

When I checked my email this morning, I noticed I had a Peter Sellers note from one of the women at church. I've never had coffee with this woman. We know each other only from when I pick up and drop off my daughter on Wednesday nights for choir and crafts. Although there were plenty of smiley emoticons sprinkled throughout, the message was clear: Haven't seen YOU in a while.

She ended the note by saying, "Please let us know how we can be helpful in any way." OK, here's how you can be helpful. When I finally do make it to church, one of these Sundays, I'm not sure when, instead of the Peter Sellers routine, here's what you can say to me:

1. "It's cool that you find other ways to plug in at church even though you can't always make it to worship services. Donating your time, talents and money on other days of the week besides Sunday is AWESOME!

2. "Wow, your husband must be SUPER tired from working 16 hours every Saturday writing about Penn State football. When he gets home at 2:45 a.m., he probably wants to sleep. So, we won't expect you at the 9:30 service during football season. Or the 11 a.m. service either. Sleep is important. People don't get enough sleep nowadays. We will pray that he finds a day job with a more normal schedule."

3. "I couldn't help but notice that you work full-time outside the home during the DAY and that your husband works full-time outside the home at NIGHT. And he manages kindergarten pick-up and drop-off for your daughter during the day. When in the world does he sleep? Oh, right, on SUNDAYS. Now I understand why you haven't been in worship services."

4. "Wow, your son is tall. I bet he letters in three high school sports. He probably stays busy with games and practice every day of the week--except Sunday. So, I guess that's the only day of the week that the four of you are able to sit down and have a meal together. It's amazing you make it to church at all. I say you're doing great if you make it here monthly."

5. "Have you ever seen that show 'Sunday Morning' with Charles Osgood? Sometimes, they have compelling interviews with fascinating people about fascinating things, and you learn something. Sometimes, you just wanna sit on the couch with a cup of coffee and not worry about rounding up the family to get out the door in time for church. Because we ALL know that job falls on the shoulders of the mom. And, girlfriend, you worked all week. Put your feet up and watch Charles Osgood. God is OK with that."